About eight years ago I went to adopt a dog from a shelter. I found the dog love of my life at a rescue place. Bailey was just so stunning, I have never seen such a cute and unique looking dog. I found out that Bailey was found wandering the streets of Paterson NJ on a miserable snowy day. That day was so horrible that it was considered a state of emergency and no cars were even allowed on the road. Furthermore, once she was picked up by the pound, she was mistreated by the employees and was then rescued by this shelter. My heart just melted, I HAD to have this dog and save her!
The paperwork to fill out was four pages long! I had to include my living arrangement, work history and about 100 references. I rolled up my sleeve because I thought they were going to draw blood too. You would think I had applied for a job at the white house. Of course they have to check my background so I can't take the dog home right away, they tell me they will call me. Several days later I get a call saying that I am not qualified to take home the dog. WHAT????????????????? The reason is that I am a renter, not a home owner (even though the home I rented had 3 floors) and here's the best part: (insert drum roll here) I AM NOT A STAY AT HOME (DOG) MOM!!!! Are you fucking kidding me? I know people that have live children and don't stay home with them. They expect me to quit work to stay home with a dog?? I was devastated. I COULD NOT believe that this dog was better off in a crate with a cement floor with no interaction than with me because I work. It took about a week of persuading but I got my landlord to call the shelter to confirm that I will not get evicted for having a dog and I also hired a dog walker to come once a day while I was at work. Hallelujah, I was now worthy of having a dog. By the way, I still have the dog and she does not seem at all traumatized about me being a working dog mother.
Fast forward to five years ago. I walk into a hospital, spit out a baby and I need nothing, absolutely nothing but a car seat to take her home. Nobody had me fill out a four page application. I didn't have to provide a work history or even references. I wasn't asked if I own a home or rent or how many people live in my household and they let me walk out with a human being to raise. How on earth does this make sense? If I don't parent the dog correctly, the worse that can happen is that she shits on my floor or chews my shoes. It really has no impact on anyone but the other members of the household. But, if I don't parent this tiny human correctly, she could be a menace to society..the entire society. You would think they would make me take an I.Q. test or something. Nothing crazy like explaining the String Theory. Just something that would indicate whether or not I know right from wrong. For example: If your child is screaming and driving you crazy, do you:
A. Try calming methods like swinging her or rubbing her back
B. Try feeding her or changing her diaper.
C. Crazy Glue her lips shut.
I mention this because I just read an article about a father who tattooed a gang symbol on his seven year old son. WHAT - THE - FUCK is wrong with this guy? How was HE allowed to bring a human being home to raise? This article mentioned that the father stated that the son wanted a tattoo. Oh, Ok, a seven year old wants to permanently scar his skin, with a target for bullets, i.e. gang symbol. Sure kid, what the heck. Now if this father had to take a test before bringing the baby home, this might have been avoided. This poor kid is a victim to having stupid parents. I say parents because even though the mother was not mentioned, she was stupid enough to have sex with someone that would tattoo a child.
I think the dog rescue shelter and baby hospitals should join forces. If you are qualified to bring home a child, perhaps you can get a puppy too.
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