Cruisin for a bruisin

The good news:   Your four day cruise has been extended 3 days at no extra charge.   Food and alcohol on us!

The bad news:  Um, there was an engine fire.  It's out now, but we will need to be pulled back to a port.  The facilities will be limited.  There will not be electricity. Toilets won't flush.  You won't be able to stay in your room.

This actually just happened on the Carnival Triumph cruise lines.    In case you didn't see the story, you can check it out here:

h2013/02/14/travel/cruise-ship-firettp://www.cnn.com/

Holy shit!  Can you imagine! 

First, I would freak out because I'm not getting home when planned.   The dog is being boarded and if the kids stayed home they are most likely with a relative who can only take so much, like 2 days tops.    They (the dog and the kids) might be wandering the streets when we finally get back.   Now I wish I had put those chips under their skin so if somebody finds them (again, the dog and the kids) they can be returned.  

Then I would freak out because most likely my phone battery would have died.  I can't get a hold of work to tell them that I am stuck on a boat.  They will think that I just didn't bother to show up for work.  By the time I return there will be a replacement at my desk.  Great. 

Then I will freak out because I like to pack as minimal as possible.   Especially now that airlines charge for each bag.  I probably would have planned to mix and match and only packed enough underwear for the amount of days were staying.   So now I am wearing the same underwear three days in a row.  I guess it's back to those college days of turning the underwear inside out. 

I might be a little calm the first day. What's an extra day of sleeping on a lounge chair all day?   But then the shit will hit the fan...literally.   Food will start running out and whatever is left may be spoiled because there is no refrigeration.   There is also no air conditioning.   People get cranky when they are hot.  I know they are on a cruise, but they can't take a dip in the pool.  There's no filter and it's just a cesspool now.   I also learned that on this stranded ship that poop was coming down the walls!!!  Ewwwwl.  Gross!    There was just nowhere for it to go so it as the saying goes "the shit runs down hill."   That would totally draw the line for me.   

This is what I totally DO NOT Understand:   why on earth did these people stay on the ship?  Before the cruise leaves, there is a lesson on putting on your life jacket and getting into the life boats.  Is there a rule that states the ship has to be on fire or actually sinking before you can borrow one of the boats tied to the side of the ship?   I would totally take my chance, get into one of those boats and have the coast guard save me.  Save me from poop coming down the walls!   If a memo or something went out stating the boat would need to be on fire or would need to be sinking, I think I could make that happen.   Some people were taken by helicopter because they were ill.    I think I could self induce a heart attack.   Or give my husband one and I'll take the ride back with him.

I have always wanted to take a cruise with the family.   Especially one with water slides, zip lining and a camp to stick the kids in so I can get me some alone time.   I am definitely rethinking this though.   I may still go, but I'll bring an extra suitcase full of nonperishable food and with a blow up tug boat just in case.