Pregnant and Stupid

To quote my sister "some people don't deserve to have money". I pretty much agree with her. When I think of wealthy people, I often have an illusion that the money came from either someone making smart decisions with their money or in their occupation which supplies their money. It's just so frustrating and disappointing when you witness wealthy people just acting like stupid idiots or spending their money on ridiculous things. I'm not talking about purchases of indulgence like jewels or plastic surgery. I kind of get that. Sometimes these people do such stupid shit with their money that you would think it makes more sense to take the cash and flush it down the toilet. At least it gets a little spin while going down.

Recently I discovered a new television show: Pregnant in Heels. At first glance I thought this show was about maternity fashion or pregnant models. Something like that. But then one day I saw a clip about an upcoming show and the episode was about a Jewish man and a Catholic woman about to have a baby together and making a decision about the baby's religion. Of course this intrigued me due to my interfaith marriage and I decided to watch the episode. Turns out I was wrong about the premise of the show. It is 100% more fucking stupid than I thought it was. It's about a *MATERNITY CONCIERGE who helps pregnant women / families with baby related issues.

* I know, you are probably wondering, as I did, what the fuck a maternity concierge is. Apparently for a bazillion centuries women have been bearing children and working out relationship conflicts while being pregnant with absolutely no help (except for meddling mothers or friends). The maternity concierge takes the intimacy out of intimate relationships and gets paid, a lot, to interfere with personal issues and decisions. It's the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. More humiliating than the Jersey Shore. I mean, women in third world countries who don't even live with comforts such as beds and running water have survived without a concierge.

Back to the episodes I watched. So this older, unattractive Jewish man was married to a younger, pretty woman....a shiska (gentile woman). I have a funny feeling her favorite color is green and her favorite metal is silver. Anyway, she was about a month away from giving birth and they had a dispute about what faith they would raise their child. Ummmm...you didn't talk about this prior to having children? How can you go into a marriage and bring another human to life without even mentioning issues that are important to you? The wife / mother in this episode said that walking into a Jewish temple would freak her out and make her extremely uncomfortable. Seriously? Just walking into a temple could do that? I've been to churches and according to them, my people killed their savior. I was fine. I didn't even get a rash. I won't bore you with the rest of the details, but the moral of this story (warning, spoiler alert) was that they compromise and when they baptize the baby, they have a naming (Jewish tradition) at the party for the baptism. I find it hard to believe that these two adults did not even think of some sort of compromise on their own. How the heck did they survive all these years? They had to pay tons of money to a concierge to think of a solution to a pretty significant but not so unique situation? Unbelievable!

The next episode was about naming the actual baby. The parents were having their third child and called in the concierge to help name their baby!!!!! Insane!! They wanted a name that other people would like so they insisted on getting a focus group to decide whether a name was nice or not. I have a hard time believing that these people have nothing better to do with their time and money! How can other people decide something like this? Not just because it's their child and they should be making this decision, but because names are very subjective. You take one name and a million people could love the name and another million could hate it. Both of the parents had very prestigious and impressive careers. Ones in which it would seem they could make decisions on their own. In the end, the couple came up with their own cock-a-mamie name that no one in the focus group liked anyway. The name was Bowen. Bowen? Isn't that a type of plane? ( I know, it just sounds like it). So if they were going to pick a stupid made up name that no one would like but them anyway...why bother with the concierge and focus groups? Again, throwing money down the toilet. They should have called me, paid me $1,000.00 and I would have told them how much I love their stupid name. I would have done it in half the time too.

Honestly, I don't really care about how people spend their money. I am not anti-rich. But, if you're going to behave like a fool and spend your money foolishly, don't do it publicly on cable tv. Your future children and grand children might see it and lose respect for you. Let someone like me still have faith that the smart and the hard working get rewarded.