Friday, November 18, 2011

Cha Cha Cha

Pachina, whowho, teetee, cucci, nono, pooter.

What the heck am I talking about? Can you figure it out using these nonsense words?

Here's a riddle: A kid on a school playground runs up to a teacher and cries, "I fell and I hurt my no-no!!" What would the teacher look at first? Her nose? Well, it's not bleeding and it does not show any sign of injury. How about if the teacher, in her attempt to solve the problem, then says to the kid, "Why don't you show me what hurts?" Next thing you know the teacher is in handcuffs and fired from her job for attempting to sexually lure the child.

Now do you know what I'm talking about? THE VAJAY-JAY or as more commonly known, the vagina. What the hell is sooo bad about that word? It's a body part! Why are people ashamed to use it, especially with children? Makes no sense to me. We call an ear and ear, an elbow and elbow and a mouth a mouth. Why would vagina be any different?

I bring this to light because a friend of mine had a disturbing incident. She moved to a new town and was very excited because her new neighbor has a daughter the same age as her daughter. Hooray! Instant friend, right! Well, the kids had a play date and soon after that play date the neighbor became aloof. Not returning phone calls and not allowing her daughter to play with my friend's daughter. My friend could not imagine what she could have done to get the cold shoulder. I mean, they have they have known each other for five minutes. So my friend calls this woman and asks for an explanation. The other mom says, reluctantly, that during the play date, my friend's daughter used the word vagina. (Enter gasp here). OH....MY.....GOD! A six year old said vagina!!!! I'm appalled (not really.) She went on to say that she didn't want my friend's daughter hanging around her daughter because she taught her daughter that word. Are you fucking kidding me??? She had to be taught the proper name of a body part? And is that any reason to stop two young girls, potentially life long friends, from playing together? I can't predict the future, but I have a pretty good feeling that this girl is going to grow up to be a slut. Not the girl who said the word vagina, but the girl who has never heard it. When you live a sheltered life like that, you tend to go out and explore the things your parents forbid you to know about.

The only explanation I can think of for making up a nickname for a body part would be embarrassment of the parent. But what confuses me is that they are talking about the same part despite which word they use. So why would "Cha Cha" be less embarrassing than "vagina?" It's still the same thing. OR, maybe because a vagina is also used for sex. I guess that could embarrass the parent. If that's the case, in some instances the mouth and hand are used for the same things. But people aren't embarrassed to say "mouth" or "hand."

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would still smell as sweet." Juliet Capulet (Romeo and Juliet for you dummies who don't know what I am referencing) would have you believe that what matters is what something is, not what it is called. However, a negative outcome of using made up words is the "Santa Clause Effect." That's when the child realizes you have been lying to them all this time. It could result in rage, confusion and a lack of trust. Imagine, your daughter comes home from school and tells you that all the boys were sent outside to play kickball and the girls had to stay inside to watch a video. Your daughter had no idea what the heck they were talking about in the video because they used the word vagina. She was confused because she was looking at the picture in the video, and it looked like a puccini but they kept calling it a vagina! "Why were they doing that?" she would ask. Then you have to explain that you lied all these years and her "hoo ha" is really called a "vagina." Kind of makes you look bad, dontcha think? Further imagine that your daughter is out sick that day they show the video. She might go through her entire adulthood not knowing what a vagina is. That could be disastrous!

Soo, in conclusion, would a vagina by any other name still smell as sweet? I think not. I think it would stink like fish gone bad.