The saying "No good deed goes unpunished" is really a life lesson, not just some silly saying.
When I was a teenager, I was a lifeguard at a town pool. There were 3 stations which each of us responsible for a certain section of the L shaped pool. There was one lifeguard who was obviously in it for the tanning potential. She might have passed the test to become a lifeguard but she had no desire or ability to do so. Here's how it went down. She was sitting in one of those high up lifeguard stands, as was I. She was across from me, but facing my side. I was watching the other side of the "L." In my peripheral vision I see some splashing and I glance that way. It looks as though a boy is climbing on top of another boy. Is he playing, trying to dunk him or is he struggling? Well, I look over at the chick who is supposed to be watching that section. What is she doing? Examining the her fucking manicure! She's looking at her fingernails for God's sake. I quickly jump in the pool, grab the boy who I determined was drowning, not playing and brought him to the side of the pool. Once he was sitting on the edge, had calmed down and I found an adult who would be responsible for him, I went back to my post. Later that day, the pool manager calls me into his office. I was so excited because I figured that I was going to be congratulated or commended on the big save. ESPECIALLY, when it took place in another section of the pool. Heck, maybe I would get a bonus or something. Do lifeguards get bonuses if they save a life, like a commission? Well, I got quite the surprise when I went into the manager's office and got reprimanded. What the fuck? I just saved a life! A human being's life! The opposite would have been a disaster! Want to guess why I was reprimanded? I'll give you a few moments to think.
I bet your first thought was because by jumping in the pool in someone else's section, it forced me to take my eyes off of my section. If you thought that, BUZZZZ, you would be wrong. I might actually understand that logic. My infraction was that I did not blow my whistle before I jumped in to save the kid. Really??? You mean my quick thinking and fast assessment was moot because I didn't blow the whistle first? I totally lost my mind. I was like "how come you don't blast (what ever the fuck her name was) for not even watching her section? Why isn't SHE getting punished? Wouldn't THAT make more sense? Anyway, I quit on the spot and took another job guarding at an indoor pool. Not as glamorous but the people were more sensible.
More recently I had a couch that I was replacing. This couch had a rip in it and was not very comfortable. I figured instead of trying to sell it, I would put it on Craig's list and give it away to someone who needed it. I even posted a picture of the couch showing the rip. I wrote "couch is uncomfortable, but it's free.". I got tons of responses. So, I pick the first person that had decent grammar and arranged for him to pick it up on evening after work. I even parked my car in the street so he could put his truck in my driveway for ease of removing the couch. Well, that night I left the car out in the street because I forgot all about it. What happened? I got a ticket for leaving my car in the street overnight. Really. So giving away my couch cost me $60.00. I should have either sold it or left it on the fucking curb. Then my good deed would not have cost me money.
I saw a more public and far worse example of good deeds being punished. Check this out:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/teen-suspended-preventing-school-bus-shooting-article-1.1278648
A teenage boy was on the school bus when another boy took out a gun and was about to shoot other kids. What did the boy do? He tackled the kid with the gun and got it out of his hands. HOORAY! He's a hero! Guess what the school did? (I would have given him at least free lunches and a study hall for the duration of his education). They fucking suspended him! Yep! It's true. Go ahead, click on the link and read the story.
What message is the school sending this poor kid? Save the life of your peers and potentially get rejected from the college of your choice because of your high school suspension? I know the lesson that I would have learned. I would have learned..mind my own business and let everyone else die. Survival of the fittest, y'all.
I'm all about Karma. I really believe do good and good comes back to you. However, I'm starting to to feel jaded and perhaps maybe I'll be a little shit and wait for someone else to do the good deed first. I can be their punishment.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
Cruisin for a bruisin
The good news: Your four day cruise has been extended 3 days at no extra charge. Food and alcohol on us!
The bad news: Um, there was an engine fire. It's out now, but we will need to be pulled back to a port. The facilities will be limited. There will not be electricity. Toilets won't flush. You won't be able to stay in your room.
This actually just happened on the Carnival Triumph cruise lines. In case you didn't see the story, you can check it out here:
h2013/02/14/travel/cruise-ship-firettp://www.cnn.com/
Holy shit! Can you imagine!
First, I would freak out because I'm not getting home when planned. The dog is being boarded and if the kids stayed home they are most likely with a relative who can only take so much, like 2 days tops. They (the dog and the kids) might be wandering the streets when we finally get back. Now I wish I had put those chips under their skin so if somebody finds them (again, the dog and the kids) they can be returned.
Then I would freak out because most likely my phone battery would have died. I can't get a hold of work to tell them that I am stuck on a boat. They will think that I just didn't bother to show up for work. By the time I return there will be a replacement at my desk. Great.
Then I will freak out because I like to pack as minimal as possible. Especially now that airlines charge for each bag. I probably would have planned to mix and match and only packed enough underwear for the amount of days were staying. So now I am wearing the same underwear three days in a row. I guess it's back to those college days of turning the underwear inside out.
I might be a little calm the first day. What's an extra day of sleeping on a lounge chair all day? But then the shit will hit the fan...literally. Food will start running out and whatever is left may be spoiled because there is no refrigeration. There is also no air conditioning. People get cranky when they are hot. I know they are on a cruise, but they can't take a dip in the pool. There's no filter and it's just a cesspool now. I also learned that on this stranded ship that poop was coming down the walls!!! Ewwwwl. Gross! There was just nowhere for it to go so it as the saying goes "the shit runs down hill." That would totally draw the line for me.
This is what I totally DO NOT Understand: why on earth did these people stay on the ship? Before the cruise leaves, there is a lesson on putting on your life jacket and getting into the life boats. Is there a rule that states the ship has to be on fire or actually sinking before you can borrow one of the boats tied to the side of the ship? I would totally take my chance, get into one of those boats and have the coast guard save me. Save me from poop coming down the walls! If a memo or something went out stating the boat would need to be on fire or would need to be sinking, I think I could make that happen. Some people were taken by helicopter because they were ill. I think I could self induce a heart attack. Or give my husband one and I'll take the ride back with him.
I have always wanted to take a cruise with the family. Especially one with water slides, zip lining and a camp to stick the kids in so I can get me some alone time. I am definitely rethinking this though. I may still go, but I'll bring an extra suitcase full of nonperishable food and with a blow up tug boat just in case.
The bad news: Um, there was an engine fire. It's out now, but we will need to be pulled back to a port. The facilities will be limited. There will not be electricity. Toilets won't flush. You won't be able to stay in your room.
This actually just happened on the Carnival Triumph cruise lines. In case you didn't see the story, you can check it out here:
h2013/02/14/travel/cruise-ship-firettp://www.cnn.com/
Holy shit! Can you imagine!
First, I would freak out because I'm not getting home when planned. The dog is being boarded and if the kids stayed home they are most likely with a relative who can only take so much, like 2 days tops. They (the dog and the kids) might be wandering the streets when we finally get back. Now I wish I had put those chips under their skin so if somebody finds them (again, the dog and the kids) they can be returned.
Then I would freak out because most likely my phone battery would have died. I can't get a hold of work to tell them that I am stuck on a boat. They will think that I just didn't bother to show up for work. By the time I return there will be a replacement at my desk. Great.
Then I will freak out because I like to pack as minimal as possible. Especially now that airlines charge for each bag. I probably would have planned to mix and match and only packed enough underwear for the amount of days were staying. So now I am wearing the same underwear three days in a row. I guess it's back to those college days of turning the underwear inside out.
I might be a little calm the first day. What's an extra day of sleeping on a lounge chair all day? But then the shit will hit the fan...literally. Food will start running out and whatever is left may be spoiled because there is no refrigeration. There is also no air conditioning. People get cranky when they are hot. I know they are on a cruise, but they can't take a dip in the pool. There's no filter and it's just a cesspool now. I also learned that on this stranded ship that poop was coming down the walls!!! Ewwwwl. Gross! There was just nowhere for it to go so it as the saying goes "the shit runs down hill." That would totally draw the line for me.
This is what I totally DO NOT Understand: why on earth did these people stay on the ship? Before the cruise leaves, there is a lesson on putting on your life jacket and getting into the life boats. Is there a rule that states the ship has to be on fire or actually sinking before you can borrow one of the boats tied to the side of the ship? I would totally take my chance, get into one of those boats and have the coast guard save me. Save me from poop coming down the walls! If a memo or something went out stating the boat would need to be on fire or would need to be sinking, I think I could make that happen. Some people were taken by helicopter because they were ill. I think I could self induce a heart attack. Or give my husband one and I'll take the ride back with him.
I have always wanted to take a cruise with the family. Especially one with water slides, zip lining and a camp to stick the kids in so I can get me some alone time. I am definitely rethinking this though. I may still go, but I'll bring an extra suitcase full of nonperishable food and with a blow up tug boat just in case.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Just venting
So most of you, actually all of you, won't find this post funny. You may just want to skip it all together. It's really me just purging all the hellish, irritating toxins inside my body right now. No, I am not sick. Well, I think I'm sick in the head, but that's nothing new.
I had such an awful day at work that I just have to scream out loud. My blog is called Thinking Out Loud, but I hope you will all make this exception.
Keep in mind that my new job, which I was very excited to get, is very time consuming. I have coffee instead of meals, I do not take a lunch break and the two times I allow myself to pee each day, when I return, my emails multiply like Gremlins and water. (Google it if you have no idea what I'm talking about).
So, today I get a call at 2:35. It's from a client who says he just sent me an email and he tells me that what he just sent in an email, he actually needed five minutes ago. I tell him that I am just finishing up what I'm currently working on and then I will get to his email. I joke that he can "cut the line" as I have a ton of demands via email before him.
Well, by 3:08 I send him one out of the two things he needs. I got it to him within a half hour, which is pretty damn good because there is research involved. It's not something I can snap my fingers and create. There's phone calls to make to verify information, there's calculations, etc. Also, while I'm in this file, I notice there is information missing. He wants this file done by Friday (I'm sorry, I have to be very vague here) BUT there is a third party involved here. Let's just say this. The third party..it's the money. And if the money isn't ready, then nobody is ready. I spent sometime trying to locate this 3rd party as it's name / phone number/ email was not indicated in the file. And they need notice. (To all teachers out there, I know you shouldn't start a sentence with "and." I'll utilize my poetic license here.) So, this guy calls me up and SCREAMS at me. Seriously, screams at me like I would scream at my daughter if she ran into the street or parking lot. He screams that he needs the document I did not send him. I apologize and said I'll send that I'll send it now.
What happens? My computer system shuts down! Holy fuck. Why me? Actually, it's not just me, the entire system for everyone in the company. So NOBODY can produce the document I need. Seriously, I try to do good. I treat everyone with respect. I don't park in fire zones or handicapped and I even pull over to the right if I'm in the left lane and the person behind me is driving fast. I work full time, am a mommy and am also the sole care provider for a sick relative. Why does God hate me? Why is this happening? Meanwhile this guy is still screaming at me. I want to help. I'm not defying him on purpose. THEN he says "If I don't get this in 10 minutes I'm going to call (I'll just call him Sam.) Really? You're going to tell on me like you would tell my daddy if you caught me smoking or something?
Anyway, to wrap this up (I'm fucking tired and have a headache), first of all, no one deserves to be screamed at. Especially one adult to another. Treat me with respect, you will get further.
Second of all, I can't help it if he created unrealistic expectations. How dare he say that he needed something "five minutes ago?" Before he even spoke, I failed my mission. How can I possibly do something, or know to do something, five minutes, or any minutes before it's brought to my attention? He set me up to fail. There is no way, unless I was in a movie and read the script before hand, I would know that he would need this information until it was presented to me. How about this, you fuck head. If you needed something, how about contacting before you need it...not after. Then perhaps I can meet your expectations.
Well, I'm done venting. Thank you for reading or for skipping. It seems as though my current life has sucked all the funny out of me. Perhaps I'll become a fan of Obama and live off of unemployment for a while. Maybe I'll get a new cell phone out of it too.
I had such an awful day at work that I just have to scream out loud. My blog is called Thinking Out Loud, but I hope you will all make this exception.
Keep in mind that my new job, which I was very excited to get, is very time consuming. I have coffee instead of meals, I do not take a lunch break and the two times I allow myself to pee each day, when I return, my emails multiply like Gremlins and water. (Google it if you have no idea what I'm talking about).
So, today I get a call at 2:35. It's from a client who says he just sent me an email and he tells me that what he just sent in an email, he actually needed five minutes ago. I tell him that I am just finishing up what I'm currently working on and then I will get to his email. I joke that he can "cut the line" as I have a ton of demands via email before him.
Well, by 3:08 I send him one out of the two things he needs. I got it to him within a half hour, which is pretty damn good because there is research involved. It's not something I can snap my fingers and create. There's phone calls to make to verify information, there's calculations, etc. Also, while I'm in this file, I notice there is information missing. He wants this file done by Friday (I'm sorry, I have to be very vague here) BUT there is a third party involved here. Let's just say this. The third party..it's the money. And if the money isn't ready, then nobody is ready. I spent sometime trying to locate this 3rd party as it's name / phone number/ email was not indicated in the file. And they need notice. (To all teachers out there, I know you shouldn't start a sentence with "and." I'll utilize my poetic license here.) So, this guy calls me up and SCREAMS at me. Seriously, screams at me like I would scream at my daughter if she ran into the street or parking lot. He screams that he needs the document I did not send him. I apologize and said I'll send that I'll send it now.
What happens? My computer system shuts down! Holy fuck. Why me? Actually, it's not just me, the entire system for everyone in the company. So NOBODY can produce the document I need. Seriously, I try to do good. I treat everyone with respect. I don't park in fire zones or handicapped and I even pull over to the right if I'm in the left lane and the person behind me is driving fast. I work full time, am a mommy and am also the sole care provider for a sick relative. Why does God hate me? Why is this happening? Meanwhile this guy is still screaming at me. I want to help. I'm not defying him on purpose. THEN he says "If I don't get this in 10 minutes I'm going to call (I'll just call him Sam.) Really? You're going to tell on me like you would tell my daddy if you caught me smoking or something?
Anyway, to wrap this up (I'm fucking tired and have a headache), first of all, no one deserves to be screamed at. Especially one adult to another. Treat me with respect, you will get further.
Second of all, I can't help it if he created unrealistic expectations. How dare he say that he needed something "five minutes ago?" Before he even spoke, I failed my mission. How can I possibly do something, or know to do something, five minutes, or any minutes before it's brought to my attention? He set me up to fail. There is no way, unless I was in a movie and read the script before hand, I would know that he would need this information until it was presented to me. How about this, you fuck head. If you needed something, how about contacting before you need it...not after. Then perhaps I can meet your expectations.
Well, I'm done venting. Thank you for reading or for skipping. It seems as though my current life has sucked all the funny out of me. Perhaps I'll become a fan of Obama and live off of unemployment for a while. Maybe I'll get a new cell phone out of it too.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
(NotSo)FunPlex
If anyone ever has a personal vendetta against me, and they want me dead but also wants to get away with murder - here is your solution. Send me to Funplex and lock the doors. Within an hour or two I will shoot myself in the head.
Seriously, this place is a money sucking, headache giving, arcade on steroids laced with crack.
The minute you walk in the door it's chaotic loudness. Lights are flashing, like one of those video games that they say cause seizures.
So, I went there because my kids were invited to a birthday party there. If you have read my older posts, you know I avoid these places like the plague. I lie to my kids and tell them that Chuck E. Cheese's is only open to parties. You can't walk in off the street and just go in there without an invitation. Same for Funplex. I would never voluntarily go there.
We get to the front door and there is this boy who looks like he's twelve years old, with an earpiece and clip board. Kind of like how you would picture a bouncer at a high end Manhattan night club. By the way, aren't there child labor laws in New Jersey? Don't you have to be at least 15 or something to work? Who knows, maybe he was getting paid in ski ball tickets or coins for the arcade games. So I tell him the name of the birthday girl and he tells me to go upstairs and proceed to party table numbered 112. I swear to god, it took me about ten minutes just to get to the party room. The place is so large and confusing. Not only that but you have to navigate around the kids running into you AND you have to pay attention to not step on the kids lying on the floor having a tantrum. It was like getting across a football field. Turn and block here, so the obnoxious A.D.D boy doesn't run into your crotch...then when you compose yourself you have to hop over the snot nosed kid on the floor.
Finally, we reach the staircase that leads to the party room. To my surprise I see a police man. What?? A policeman at a place called Funplex?? What exactly goes on here that warrants a police man? I double checked. It was NOT a security guard with a uniform that resembles a police man's. It was a real, hopefully unarmed, policeman. I'm trying to imagine a scenario, as annoying as this place is, where a policeman would need to step in. Someone actually getting shot in the laser tag room? A car accident at the bumper car ring? Perhaps the line at the snack stand gets unruly? Or maybe someone is playing a game and another kid runs by and steals the winner tickets. I actually thought about asking the policeman if there is really anything I should be concerned about. But I my lost my nerve because I figured he would confuse my curiosity with facetiousness.
So I get up the staircase and seriously there are a bazzillion table meant for birthday parties. They could seriously have about 100 parties at one time. Talk about headache!! I don't know about you, my reader friends, but I can only take kids in small doses. The party I went to only had about 12 kids, but now I'm surrounded by a swarm of other people's kids. Ugh! I want to die. Some of you would say, "just drop your kids off and pick them up at the end of the party." But I can't do that! I can't leave my kids alone in a huge place like this. What if they get lost from their group? It took me a few minutes just to find the stairs for the party room, with all the obstacles blocking my view. Imagine being 3 feet high and trying to find it. They would totally freak. However, when the party "leader" ( an employee who has been assigned to take care of this particular party) takes the group down to do their activities..I do give them their independence and stay up in the party room. Maybe if they are smart enough they will put out pitchers of beer. (For future references, they are not that smart.) Anyway, the kids go downstairs and next thing I know, maybe 15 minutes later they are back up for pizza and cake. What the hell? 15 minutes of playing? What kind of party is that? A lame one, that's what kind. Then the kids spend like another hour eating pizza and cake. Snooze. Seriously, a venue like this and they only did two things. Laser tag and then when on this ride that goes up and down. I seriously had about 4 times as many activities at my daughter's birthday party, and it was in my backyard!
Ok, so they eat the pizza and cake and bamm, party over! Really, I spent $40 on birthday presents (it was a party for twins) and this only took up about an hour? What a waste. Dollar for dollar, the movies would have been a better choice to kill time. The worst part of the party actually occurs here. They hand out the goodie bags and inside are tokens to play games! Hooray! Not! So I get to spend MORE time at the loud and crowded arcade. It wouldn't be so bad if my kids would stay together. One wanted to go one way and the other wanted to go the other way. I can't possibly keep my eye on both kids at the same time if they are at two different locations in this arcade! I seriously start to panic. Of course they don't even wait for me to say that we need to stick together. They grab their tokens and take off. Even if I yell in my extremely loud Mommy voice, I still won't be heard.
I finally round them up. I try to explain taking turns but the reality is, they didn't even want to play the games. They wanted to do the things that were "extras", stuff I would have to pay for myself! Fuck that! I'm not going to a birthday party and then spending my own money on top of buying a gift. That's just insane. They wanted to go on the bumper cars, see the 3d movie and go in some foam thing, that I don't even know what it is other than I would have to buy a ticket for. Mean mom takes over and I tell my kids "hell no." They can play the games that they have tokens for.
Really, at this point I'm exhausted and frustrated. I want out! I let my kids play one more game each and then I tell them I'll buy them a present (not one behind the ticket counter, where you have to win over 100,000 tickets just to swap it for a bag of M&M's.) if they let me leave. I told them that I'll hold onto their tokens and tickets they have won and we'll come back on a rainy day.
Not only did I throw it out the moment we got home, but I invested in some hypnotism so that they will forget I even made the offer to go back.
Seriously, this place is a money sucking, headache giving, arcade on steroids laced with crack.
The minute you walk in the door it's chaotic loudness. Lights are flashing, like one of those video games that they say cause seizures.
So, I went there because my kids were invited to a birthday party there. If you have read my older posts, you know I avoid these places like the plague. I lie to my kids and tell them that Chuck E. Cheese's is only open to parties. You can't walk in off the street and just go in there without an invitation. Same for Funplex. I would never voluntarily go there.
We get to the front door and there is this boy who looks like he's twelve years old, with an earpiece and clip board. Kind of like how you would picture a bouncer at a high end Manhattan night club. By the way, aren't there child labor laws in New Jersey? Don't you have to be at least 15 or something to work? Who knows, maybe he was getting paid in ski ball tickets or coins for the arcade games. So I tell him the name of the birthday girl and he tells me to go upstairs and proceed to party table numbered 112. I swear to god, it took me about ten minutes just to get to the party room. The place is so large and confusing. Not only that but you have to navigate around the kids running into you AND you have to pay attention to not step on the kids lying on the floor having a tantrum. It was like getting across a football field. Turn and block here, so the obnoxious A.D.D boy doesn't run into your crotch...then when you compose yourself you have to hop over the snot nosed kid on the floor.
Finally, we reach the staircase that leads to the party room. To my surprise I see a police man. What?? A policeman at a place called Funplex?? What exactly goes on here that warrants a police man? I double checked. It was NOT a security guard with a uniform that resembles a police man's. It was a real, hopefully unarmed, policeman. I'm trying to imagine a scenario, as annoying as this place is, where a policeman would need to step in. Someone actually getting shot in the laser tag room? A car accident at the bumper car ring? Perhaps the line at the snack stand gets unruly? Or maybe someone is playing a game and another kid runs by and steals the winner tickets. I actually thought about asking the policeman if there is really anything I should be concerned about. But I my lost my nerve because I figured he would confuse my curiosity with facetiousness.
So I get up the staircase and seriously there are a bazzillion table meant for birthday parties. They could seriously have about 100 parties at one time. Talk about headache!! I don't know about you, my reader friends, but I can only take kids in small doses. The party I went to only had about 12 kids, but now I'm surrounded by a swarm of other people's kids. Ugh! I want to die. Some of you would say, "just drop your kids off and pick them up at the end of the party." But I can't do that! I can't leave my kids alone in a huge place like this. What if they get lost from their group? It took me a few minutes just to find the stairs for the party room, with all the obstacles blocking my view. Imagine being 3 feet high and trying to find it. They would totally freak. However, when the party "leader" ( an employee who has been assigned to take care of this particular party) takes the group down to do their activities..I do give them their independence and stay up in the party room. Maybe if they are smart enough they will put out pitchers of beer. (For future references, they are not that smart.) Anyway, the kids go downstairs and next thing I know, maybe 15 minutes later they are back up for pizza and cake. What the hell? 15 minutes of playing? What kind of party is that? A lame one, that's what kind. Then the kids spend like another hour eating pizza and cake. Snooze. Seriously, a venue like this and they only did two things. Laser tag and then when on this ride that goes up and down. I seriously had about 4 times as many activities at my daughter's birthday party, and it was in my backyard!
Ok, so they eat the pizza and cake and bamm, party over! Really, I spent $40 on birthday presents (it was a party for twins) and this only took up about an hour? What a waste. Dollar for dollar, the movies would have been a better choice to kill time. The worst part of the party actually occurs here. They hand out the goodie bags and inside are tokens to play games! Hooray! Not! So I get to spend MORE time at the loud and crowded arcade. It wouldn't be so bad if my kids would stay together. One wanted to go one way and the other wanted to go the other way. I can't possibly keep my eye on both kids at the same time if they are at two different locations in this arcade! I seriously start to panic. Of course they don't even wait for me to say that we need to stick together. They grab their tokens and take off. Even if I yell in my extremely loud Mommy voice, I still won't be heard.
I finally round them up. I try to explain taking turns but the reality is, they didn't even want to play the games. They wanted to do the things that were "extras", stuff I would have to pay for myself! Fuck that! I'm not going to a birthday party and then spending my own money on top of buying a gift. That's just insane. They wanted to go on the bumper cars, see the 3d movie and go in some foam thing, that I don't even know what it is other than I would have to buy a ticket for. Mean mom takes over and I tell my kids "hell no." They can play the games that they have tokens for.
Really, at this point I'm exhausted and frustrated. I want out! I let my kids play one more game each and then I tell them I'll buy them a present (not one behind the ticket counter, where you have to win over 100,000 tickets just to swap it for a bag of M&M's.) if they let me leave. I told them that I'll hold onto their tokens and tickets they have won and we'll come back on a rainy day.
Not only did I throw it out the moment we got home, but I invested in some hypnotism so that they will forget I even made the offer to go back.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
NATIONAL DEBT
Ok, so I have to admit, when it comes to politics I am pretty stupid. Don't get me wrong, I have my strong opinions. For instance, I am a HUGE fan of the right to choose who you want to marry (same sex or opposite sex) and the right to choose if you want to procreate or not. I am also a firm believer in giving those people who are fortunate enough to be wealthy, the benefit of tax relief so that they can pour more money into the economy. I mean, why not? Let's say your mom stayed late at work one night and ended up making an extra $1,000.00 to spend. Would you prefer that she buy you something with that money; benefiting the shop she bought something from and benefiting you at the same time? Or would you rather go the route of "lets tax her more on that $1,000.00 and then give that amount to Joe Schmoe who feels entitled to that money because he is out of work and feels it's not worth his time to take a low paying job?"
Any way, my real issue is "THE BUDGET." In all the debates, a common theme is balancing the budget. Really? This deficit is trillions of dollars and beyond my comprehension. Is it an actual reality, of any political party, to really balance this budget? If the budget is balanced, does that mean that the US has repaid all it's debt to foreign countries and that any country we gave money to has paid us back? I really just don't get it.
When I think of what a budget is, I think of my family expenses. I know that I make a certain amount of money every month, and that when it comes to spending my money, I should keep it within the parameters of what I actually earn. Of course that does not happen, so I use my credit card which would causes my deficit. Is that how it works when it comes to the United States budget? If that's the case, what is the actual amount that the US is allowed to spend per month? Can't someone important hold the check book and if the government tries to spend more money after that monthly surplus has been used, that person just says no? I mean, I do it with MY kids. I really need someone to answer me. What is our allotted amount to make the budget work?
And who is that person who actually reconciles that check book? Can you imagine checking your account on line and seeing check numbered 2,578,001 for $75.00 and being like "what the heck is that? It's not written in my check register! Then shouting around the oval office "who wrote a check for $75.00 and what was it for?" Or seeing a debit card withdrawal at a gas station in Delaware. "Biden! Did you leave Washington and get gas????" " I told you to turn in all of your receipts!"
Let's just fantasize a minute here. Let's pretend I'm the President.
*In real life I would never, ever want to be president. You get called names, you are accused of being a liar when you actually tried your best to make things work. You do one bad thing in your childhood like smoking pot and all hell breaks lose. Seriously, to be president, you have to be the kind of kid who didn't even pick your nose because you know that will be held against you. I enjoy the kind of job that when the day is done I can go home, handle family matters and then veg out while watching Housewives.
Ok, back to ME being president. Let's pretend that I'm a fucking genius and I balanced the budget. HOORAY! I'm a national hero! It becomes a holiday and EVERYONE, including retail, gets the day off! Remember, I'm the genius who did something none of my predecessors ever did. There will not be amazing sales on this day. Ok, so I'm so happy that I balanced this huge checkbook that I decide to take my staff out for dinner and drinks. What do you mean, I should spend my OWN money? (I know you never said that, but it supports my story.) I'm taking work people out so I'm using the company credit card. Wait? I just spent government money! Does that mean that the budget is no longer balanced?????????? Did I just shoot myself in the foot with my victory celebration? crap!
In all honesty, why do they even bring up decreasing the National debt on debate? People don't care about that crap. They care about either getting goods and services for free (necessities like mobile phone and cigarettes) when they don't work, they care about if their mistresses can get an abortion if an oops was made, and they care if taxes are raised and some idiots care about giving ILLEGAL, yes I said ILLEGAL (as in those who decide the rules to become a citizen here are not applicable to them) immigrants the right to live here off our taxes, send their kids to the free schools and purchase petrolum to blow up our federal buildings. While I'm on a rant, it's amazing how almost everyone in this country has a platform that they want the government to support, but no one wants taxes raised. UH DUH, I'm the stupid one and even I know that you can't give money for all these programs / support groups and lower taxes at the same time. Where's the f'in money gonna come from? Let me tell you, if a candidate went on tv and said "listen, reducing your taxes just isn't going to happen. So I'm not going to even waste my breath. Just live with it and go on. As the years go on, prices for things will go up and it's just a fact of life so get over it." I WOULD TOTALLY VOTE FOR HIM. At least he's not trying to bullshit anyone.
The next candidate should just say that on behalf of our country, won't borrow any money, won't charge trips and dinners on the company credit cards, and if we are running low of money, we just say NO to those countries who put their hands out. If we happen to go past our budget for the month, then everyone just stays home, eats boxed macaroni and cheese and sucks it up until the next pay day. Mazel Tov, National debt resolved.
Any way, my real issue is "THE BUDGET." In all the debates, a common theme is balancing the budget. Really? This deficit is trillions of dollars and beyond my comprehension. Is it an actual reality, of any political party, to really balance this budget? If the budget is balanced, does that mean that the US has repaid all it's debt to foreign countries and that any country we gave money to has paid us back? I really just don't get it.
When I think of what a budget is, I think of my family expenses. I know that I make a certain amount of money every month, and that when it comes to spending my money, I should keep it within the parameters of what I actually earn. Of course that does not happen, so I use my credit card which would causes my deficit. Is that how it works when it comes to the United States budget? If that's the case, what is the actual amount that the US is allowed to spend per month? Can't someone important hold the check book and if the government tries to spend more money after that monthly surplus has been used, that person just says no? I mean, I do it with MY kids. I really need someone to answer me. What is our allotted amount to make the budget work?
And who is that person who actually reconciles that check book? Can you imagine checking your account on line and seeing check numbered 2,578,001 for $75.00 and being like "what the heck is that? It's not written in my check register! Then shouting around the oval office "who wrote a check for $75.00 and what was it for?" Or seeing a debit card withdrawal at a gas station in Delaware. "Biden! Did you leave Washington and get gas????" " I told you to turn in all of your receipts!"
Let's just fantasize a minute here. Let's pretend I'm the President.
*In real life I would never, ever want to be president. You get called names, you are accused of being a liar when you actually tried your best to make things work. You do one bad thing in your childhood like smoking pot and all hell breaks lose. Seriously, to be president, you have to be the kind of kid who didn't even pick your nose because you know that will be held against you. I enjoy the kind of job that when the day is done I can go home, handle family matters and then veg out while watching Housewives.
Ok, back to ME being president. Let's pretend that I'm a fucking genius and I balanced the budget. HOORAY! I'm a national hero! It becomes a holiday and EVERYONE, including retail, gets the day off! Remember, I'm the genius who did something none of my predecessors ever did. There will not be amazing sales on this day. Ok, so I'm so happy that I balanced this huge checkbook that I decide to take my staff out for dinner and drinks. What do you mean, I should spend my OWN money? (I know you never said that, but it supports my story.) I'm taking work people out so I'm using the company credit card. Wait? I just spent government money! Does that mean that the budget is no longer balanced?????????? Did I just shoot myself in the foot with my victory celebration? crap!
In all honesty, why do they even bring up decreasing the National debt on debate? People don't care about that crap. They care about either getting goods and services for free (necessities like mobile phone and cigarettes) when they don't work, they care about if their mistresses can get an abortion if an oops was made, and they care if taxes are raised and some idiots care about giving ILLEGAL, yes I said ILLEGAL (as in those who decide the rules to become a citizen here are not applicable to them) immigrants the right to live here off our taxes, send their kids to the free schools and purchase petrolum to blow up our federal buildings. While I'm on a rant, it's amazing how almost everyone in this country has a platform that they want the government to support, but no one wants taxes raised. UH DUH, I'm the stupid one and even I know that you can't give money for all these programs / support groups and lower taxes at the same time. Where's the f'in money gonna come from? Let me tell you, if a candidate went on tv and said "listen, reducing your taxes just isn't going to happen. So I'm not going to even waste my breath. Just live with it and go on. As the years go on, prices for things will go up and it's just a fact of life so get over it." I WOULD TOTALLY VOTE FOR HIM. At least he's not trying to bullshit anyone.
The next candidate should just say that on behalf of our country, won't borrow any money, won't charge trips and dinners on the company credit cards, and if we are running low of money, we just say NO to those countries who put their hands out. If we happen to go past our budget for the month, then everyone just stays home, eats boxed macaroni and cheese and sucks it up until the next pay day. Mazel Tov, National debt resolved.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Back to School
A lot of mom's get excited about back to school time. But those are the moms who don't work and over the summer torture themselves by not sending their kids to camp and having to find ways to entertain the kids. They can't wait for their kids to be in school all day so that they can spend the rest of their day either having lunch with friends and complaining about how hard it is to be a stay at home mom OR they are actually staying home folding laundry while talking on the phone with their friends and complaining about being a stay at home mom. Yeah, like it's so friggin hard to do your grocery shopping ALONE without your kids annoying you, or having between 9 and 3 to make dinner and clean your house instead of doing it all on weekends only. Ok, I'm getting off topic here. Let's get back to the topic: Going back to school.
I hate back to school time. I remember when I was younger, the year felt like it was in two equal seasons. School and summer. I started to get depressed in August knowing September was just around the corner. I actually liked school but I loved summer and never wanted it to end.
I hate back to school time even more now that I'm a mother. Making lunches every night, running to the supermarket at 10:00 at night because you ran out of deli meat (lunch meat as you gentiles call it.) because you're not allowed to give your kid a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In some cases, cooking and packing dinners too because you don't have time to go home and serve a meal between when work ends and that pesky after school sport / activity starts. Finally having a moment to look at all those crumpled papers in your kid's back pack, only to find the one about the diorama due the fucking next day and now you have to drive to A.C. Moore or Michaels to buy art supplies. Too bad it's after bed time so you have to do it while your kid sleeps and then coach your kid in the morning on how he or she is to convince the teacher they did it themselves. Sounds great, huh? Maybe I should home school. Then I would be better prepared. I really don't think I'm smart enough to home school. I'm afraid my kids will grow up dumb and it would be all my fault.
Anyway, my real gripe with back to school is that dreaded SCHOOL SUPPLY LIST. It's absolutely ridiculous. When I was in elementary school, I don't even think I had to bring in pencils. I'm pretty sure the school supplied them. I think we had to bring in loose leaf notebooks and spiral notebooks. That's about it. I think we also had to use our own paper in the loose leaf paper in the notebooks. That was the good ole days. Here is a sampling of my daughter's school supply list. She's going into kindergarten:
1. 9 large Elmer glue sticks. NINE????? Now, keep in mind, the list states to have this stuff the first day of school. It didn't suggest she come in with two and then perhaps replenish every month. The teacher wants NINE and on the first day. If I give my daughter nine glue sticks..eight of them are getting lost by day two. Or, what will happen is, instead of her using one, and then when that one runs out, she uses the second and so on...she will use all nine at one time. One project will take as long because she will want to take turns with the glue sticks. I can assure you. Then, by Thanksgiving break, she will have maybe 2 left (7 will be lost) and the two that are left will be full of glitter, or dried out or just unusable. This kindergarten teacher must be new or she must not have experience with child behavior. My last thought is that perhaps she has a glue sniffing habit to feed. Also, I'm wondering if she specified "Elmer's" glue intentionally. Did she say Elmer's because that's the most popular brand? Kind of like saying "Kleenex" instead of tissues? Or is she really insistent on that brand? Fuck that. Whatever glue they sell at the dollar store...that's what she's getting. She wants to get all high and mighty about the brand, she can splurge for the luxury.
2. Two boxes of crayons. Each box has to be 24 crayons. 48 crayons times 20 kids. Hmmm. She really needs 90 crayons??? Are they melting them down for a mural? My kids go to chain restaurants with me and they are given 3 colors. It occupies them for almost an hour. I guess the teacher can fill an entire school day of coloring if she insists they use each color.
3. 2 boxes of graham crackers. We already pack a lunch and snack, so I'm not quite sure what the graham crackers are for. One parent suggested that they ask for it in case another kid forgot or does not like their snack. I don't know...I think this falls under the too fucking bad category for me. If I pack a snack that my kid won't eat, she can be hungry. Offering her another choice would just enable her to expect choices when there are none. Plus, I would think a parent would know by this time what their kid will or will not eat. Pack something they will eat. Done. An alternative thought on why we are asked for graham crackers would be related to the glue. Maybe they sniff all that glue and it makes them crave crackers.
4. A bottle of liquid soap? Wouldn't this fall under custodial supplies? Can't they get this bulk? Maybe even at a discount since a school is non profit? I'm not asking for the teachers to pay for this but perhaps it can come from the random school supply fund. Why stop at soap? Just send a note home asking for toilet paper. I'm sure they would demand two ply.
5. Two bottles of hand sanitizer and 2 large canisters of disinfecting wipes. See #4 above.
6. 10 pencils. Three will need to be sharpened in desk at all times. I went above and beyond expectations here and sharpened all ten. Go ahead, call me a brown noser.
7. 1 Pink eraser. I really want to just rebel and get another colored eraser. Will the teacher return it home with a note? Will she make a note in my daughter's file that I don't adhere to rules? Why the frig does it have to be pink?
8. 4 Jumbo book sleeves. Ok, so I graduated high school in 1988. It was a while ago but it certainly wasn't the olden days. What the fuck is a book sleeve? So I asked some tweens at Staples to show me the light. They are nylon book covers. Whaat? Why can't I cover her books with paper grocery bags like we did? First of all, you can't even doodle on these book sleeves when you're bored. Second of all, why should I spend money on something that I can get as a perk when I go grocery shopping? These kids have no fun at school anymore!
Ok, so as a reminder, the above is a SAMPLE of her list. There's more. I feel like I should just buy the teacher a gift card and tell her to go nuts. Really, by next year I wouldn't be surprised if they added to the list Keurig K cups for the teacher's lounge, Chalk for the black board, balls for gym class and frozen vegetables and boxed mashed potatos for the cafeteria.
I think I'll nominate myself to be president of the PTA. My platform will be no shopping for school supplies! Instead, I'll mail out a bill to each parent in September. This invoice will state that it's for miscellaneous school supplies and as an extra bonus, pay an additional fee of $50.00 and we won't hound you to buy wrapping paper or some crappy candy from a catalogue that you won't eat anyway. I'm certain I'll be deemed best PTA President ever!!!!!!
I hate back to school time. I remember when I was younger, the year felt like it was in two equal seasons. School and summer. I started to get depressed in August knowing September was just around the corner. I actually liked school but I loved summer and never wanted it to end.
I hate back to school time even more now that I'm a mother. Making lunches every night, running to the supermarket at 10:00 at night because you ran out of deli meat (lunch meat as you gentiles call it.) because you're not allowed to give your kid a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In some cases, cooking and packing dinners too because you don't have time to go home and serve a meal between when work ends and that pesky after school sport / activity starts. Finally having a moment to look at all those crumpled papers in your kid's back pack, only to find the one about the diorama due the fucking next day and now you have to drive to A.C. Moore or Michaels to buy art supplies. Too bad it's after bed time so you have to do it while your kid sleeps and then coach your kid in the morning on how he or she is to convince the teacher they did it themselves. Sounds great, huh? Maybe I should home school. Then I would be better prepared. I really don't think I'm smart enough to home school. I'm afraid my kids will grow up dumb and it would be all my fault.
Anyway, my real gripe with back to school is that dreaded SCHOOL SUPPLY LIST. It's absolutely ridiculous. When I was in elementary school, I don't even think I had to bring in pencils. I'm pretty sure the school supplied them. I think we had to bring in loose leaf notebooks and spiral notebooks. That's about it. I think we also had to use our own paper in the loose leaf paper in the notebooks. That was the good ole days. Here is a sampling of my daughter's school supply list. She's going into kindergarten:
1. 9 large Elmer glue sticks. NINE????? Now, keep in mind, the list states to have this stuff the first day of school. It didn't suggest she come in with two and then perhaps replenish every month. The teacher wants NINE and on the first day. If I give my daughter nine glue sticks..eight of them are getting lost by day two. Or, what will happen is, instead of her using one, and then when that one runs out, she uses the second and so on...she will use all nine at one time. One project will take as long because she will want to take turns with the glue sticks. I can assure you. Then, by Thanksgiving break, she will have maybe 2 left (7 will be lost) and the two that are left will be full of glitter, or dried out or just unusable. This kindergarten teacher must be new or she must not have experience with child behavior. My last thought is that perhaps she has a glue sniffing habit to feed. Also, I'm wondering if she specified "Elmer's" glue intentionally. Did she say Elmer's because that's the most popular brand? Kind of like saying "Kleenex" instead of tissues? Or is she really insistent on that brand? Fuck that. Whatever glue they sell at the dollar store...that's what she's getting. She wants to get all high and mighty about the brand, she can splurge for the luxury.
2. Two boxes of crayons. Each box has to be 24 crayons. 48 crayons times 20 kids. Hmmm. She really needs 90 crayons??? Are they melting them down for a mural? My kids go to chain restaurants with me and they are given 3 colors. It occupies them for almost an hour. I guess the teacher can fill an entire school day of coloring if she insists they use each color.
3. 2 boxes of graham crackers. We already pack a lunch and snack, so I'm not quite sure what the graham crackers are for. One parent suggested that they ask for it in case another kid forgot or does not like their snack. I don't know...I think this falls under the too fucking bad category for me. If I pack a snack that my kid won't eat, she can be hungry. Offering her another choice would just enable her to expect choices when there are none. Plus, I would think a parent would know by this time what their kid will or will not eat. Pack something they will eat. Done. An alternative thought on why we are asked for graham crackers would be related to the glue. Maybe they sniff all that glue and it makes them crave crackers.
4. A bottle of liquid soap? Wouldn't this fall under custodial supplies? Can't they get this bulk? Maybe even at a discount since a school is non profit? I'm not asking for the teachers to pay for this but perhaps it can come from the random school supply fund. Why stop at soap? Just send a note home asking for toilet paper. I'm sure they would demand two ply.
5. Two bottles of hand sanitizer and 2 large canisters of disinfecting wipes. See #4 above.
6. 10 pencils. Three will need to be sharpened in desk at all times. I went above and beyond expectations here and sharpened all ten. Go ahead, call me a brown noser.
7. 1 Pink eraser. I really want to just rebel and get another colored eraser. Will the teacher return it home with a note? Will she make a note in my daughter's file that I don't adhere to rules? Why the frig does it have to be pink?
8. 4 Jumbo book sleeves. Ok, so I graduated high school in 1988. It was a while ago but it certainly wasn't the olden days. What the fuck is a book sleeve? So I asked some tweens at Staples to show me the light. They are nylon book covers. Whaat? Why can't I cover her books with paper grocery bags like we did? First of all, you can't even doodle on these book sleeves when you're bored. Second of all, why should I spend money on something that I can get as a perk when I go grocery shopping? These kids have no fun at school anymore!
Ok, so as a reminder, the above is a SAMPLE of her list. There's more. I feel like I should just buy the teacher a gift card and tell her to go nuts. Really, by next year I wouldn't be surprised if they added to the list Keurig K cups for the teacher's lounge, Chalk for the black board, balls for gym class and frozen vegetables and boxed mashed potatos for the cafeteria.
I think I'll nominate myself to be president of the PTA. My platform will be no shopping for school supplies! Instead, I'll mail out a bill to each parent in September. This invoice will state that it's for miscellaneous school supplies and as an extra bonus, pay an additional fee of $50.00 and we won't hound you to buy wrapping paper or some crappy candy from a catalogue that you won't eat anyway. I'm certain I'll be deemed best PTA President ever!!!!!!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Boob Tube
I usually try to write about light hearted things. Some self deprecating humor or some recent news event that just ticks me off which I attempt to twist into a laughable article.
This time, I here to bitch and moan and rat out a HUGE corporation..... I'M TAKING ON THE BIG GUYS! Feeling like Norma Rae or Erin Brokovitch. COMCAST CABLE, I'm on your ass!!!
I like to think that I'm at least average in intelligence. I never failed a class, got a lot of C's but a good share of A's and B's. Heck, in college I even made the Dean's List. Of course that was the semester that I had "Officiating" and "Deviant Behavior" in my curriculum...but that's irrelevant. I got the scores. When it comes to figuring out a cable bill or even dealing with speaking with someone about my account, my brain just not function at full capacity. I understand their logic is to confuse the hell out of you just so you eventually throw in the towel and sign up for all of their services or pay the full bill they are charging whether it's legitimate or not. Kind of like a car salesman. You sit there for hours, as though you are being interrogated. Finally, you're so torn down and desperate to give up that you just buy the damn car for thousands more than you should have or wanted to spend. That's how they get ya!
Anyway, this post isn't really about my bill. It's about the unethical practice I just encountered with Comcast Cablevision. It's IMPOSSIBLE to reach someone there to tattle. I have tried. I'm sure it was easier for the U.S. Military to track down Sadam Hussain than it is to air a grievance to a human at Comcast. I hope this post goes friggin viral (hint hint) so that everyone who has Comcast cancels their service and that every potential customer reads this and decides to use a competitor instead. Go ahead, Comcast, just try and sue me for liable. Uh, you can't because everything I am about to write is true. Also, you can't get blood from a stone, if you know what I'm saying. Maybe they will serve me papers...at least then I'll have a valid contact number.
So, we are moving into a new home. One of our tasks was to sign up for cable for phone, tv and internet. Three essential household items, that quite frankly if I had to live without I think I would actually survive. One day when we were doing some work to the house, prior to moving in, a salesman rang the bell. Let me tell you, it was friggin HOT out that day! If I were a salesman, I might have taken the day off, or tried to sell inside a mall where it's air conditioned. The guy was working hard! He said that he was canvasing the neighborhood and ringing the bells of homes of people that currently were not Comcast customers. He asked if we could spare a few minutes of our time. "Sure!" we answered. It was something we had to do anyway and it would save us several hours of being on hold or listening to a customer service representative on the phone. Mr. Baxter ended up giving us a great deal. No deposit required, free movie channels, 1 free DVR, no contract, a bunch of crap I didn't need for free, and more. The price was very reasonable but not so unreasonable that it would be a scam. He gave us a phone number too. Perfect! I had to enroll my children in school and I could give them my phone number! We explained that we were not actually going to move into the home until August, so we set up an August installation date (it was beginning of July or end of June, I can't remember.) He obliged. Perfect. He left, leaving his business card with his cell phone number. Hooray! No more customer service. I would be harassing, if need be, Mr. Baxter from now on. We set the time for afternoon installation, and then we got an invitation for a surprise party. We decided to switch it to a morning appointment.
Well, a couple of weeks later I get a call from "Fassir" at Comcast Cable. He wanted to know why we canceled our installation and if there was anything he could do to win us back. I was confused, thinking that maybe darling husband already called to switch the time, and I replied "Oh no. We don't want to cancel, just move up the installation time." The guy then ignores my comment and goes on to give me a list of channels and internet speed times and a bunch of nonsense for a low price of xxx. I was very confused as to why he was doing this when I already signed up for my service and channels. I said to him, "I'm at work, I will need to call you back." Which was the truth, I did not have the time to deal with bullshit at that moment. I got his number and actually did bring it home with me to call him back. Before I could even call him back, around dinner time my cell rings. It's Joe Shmoe from Comcast and apparently Fassir told him to call me. Oh boy. Let the games begin. I went on to explain that no, my service was not canceled and I just want to move the appointment from the afternoon to the morning. That's all. Then HE goes on with "the great deal he can give me." I told him that Mr. Baxter gave me price of $89.00 a month and that included (I listed the services.) Mr. Shmoe answers that he can give me the same crap plus throw in Showtime for $79.00 a month. Then a light bulb went off...Hey! He's trying to steal the business from Mr. Baxter! WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. Mr. Baxter is the one that walked around the neighborhood. Mr. Baxter is the one who took the initiative to make the sale. Don't steal his commission, you bastard. I put my husband on the phone who scolds him, calls him a name and hangs up. Keep in mind, my husband is a salesman. And even if he wasn't, it's just not the right thing to do to steal someone else's sale. It's unethical and even worse, just mean and obnoxious. Everyone deserves the opportunity to make money, especially the ones that go out and make an effort to get the sale.
I immediately go to call Mr. Baxter but of course, I can't find his business card. I Google him. I find him on LinkedIn. I send him a message to contact me. I want to tell him what his colleagues are up to. He does not respond. Oh well, I tried.
So, as moving day approached, I call Comcast to confirm my appointment and make sure the time was moved to the morning. The first battle was actually finding a phone number! Damn, did I throw out Mr. Baxter's card? I could really use it about now. There is a Comcast in the same town, one of those walk in customer service places. This place has bulletproof glass between the representative and the customer. The reps are properly protected. Now I know why. After the conversation and frustration I had, I really wanted to go there just to choke somebody. Well, when I checked information, there was no number for this location. After an exhausting search, I finally found a number and got through.
I explain that I want to confirm my installation and the woman on the other end tells me that it has been cancelled. WHAT???? Those jerk heads!! Not only that, but the phone number that was assigned to me is no longer available. Crap! I already gave it out to school officials and other VIP's. So even if I go forth with Cablevision again, I would have a different number. I go through the whole story about dumb and dumber calling me to change my service and after the rep is done pretending to listen to me, she starts giving me her spiel of what offer she can give me. OH MY GOD, I feel the aneurysm growing in my head. All these products, internet speed, crap I don't care about all over again. All for the wonderful price of DOUBLE WHAT MR. BAXTER GAVE ME PLUS A $200 DEPOSIT! What the fuck? I ask her, why in the world would I sign up for that service when it's way more money? She explains that the telemarketers get much better deals than the in-house reps. So I said forget it, that I would just wait for another telemarketer to contact me. Then she sings another song and decides she can waive the deposit and throw in other useless movie channels included in the same price. Great, so more stations to thumb through and bypass during my channel surfing. Fortunately, I was really at work and my phone was ringing. I explained I had to go and she said she would call me back. Of course I ignored her calls.
I then decided that Comcast is in the business of Bait and Switch. Remember that from Marketing 101? I do! They lure you in with an advertisement of one price, and then when you inquire, that product or price is no longer available..but they DO have this product at a higher price. So even if I pay more per month signing up with another provider, it's the principal of the matter. NO THANK YOU COMCRAP, I mean Comcast. I'll go with Verizon.
Comcast, go screw yourself. If I were Amish and I was trying to convert, my selling point would be "hey, no electricity. You never have to deal with cable companies again...and you get an automatic entry into heaven." Sounds win win to me.
This time, I here to bitch and moan and rat out a HUGE corporation..... I'M TAKING ON THE BIG GUYS! Feeling like Norma Rae or Erin Brokovitch. COMCAST CABLE, I'm on your ass!!!
I like to think that I'm at least average in intelligence. I never failed a class, got a lot of C's but a good share of A's and B's. Heck, in college I even made the Dean's List. Of course that was the semester that I had "Officiating" and "Deviant Behavior" in my curriculum...but that's irrelevant. I got the scores. When it comes to figuring out a cable bill or even dealing with speaking with someone about my account, my brain just not function at full capacity. I understand their logic is to confuse the hell out of you just so you eventually throw in the towel and sign up for all of their services or pay the full bill they are charging whether it's legitimate or not. Kind of like a car salesman. You sit there for hours, as though you are being interrogated. Finally, you're so torn down and desperate to give up that you just buy the damn car for thousands more than you should have or wanted to spend. That's how they get ya!
Anyway, this post isn't really about my bill. It's about the unethical practice I just encountered with Comcast Cablevision. It's IMPOSSIBLE to reach someone there to tattle. I have tried. I'm sure it was easier for the U.S. Military to track down Sadam Hussain than it is to air a grievance to a human at Comcast. I hope this post goes friggin viral (hint hint) so that everyone who has Comcast cancels their service and that every potential customer reads this and decides to use a competitor instead. Go ahead, Comcast, just try and sue me for liable. Uh, you can't because everything I am about to write is true. Also, you can't get blood from a stone, if you know what I'm saying. Maybe they will serve me papers...at least then I'll have a valid contact number.
So, we are moving into a new home. One of our tasks was to sign up for cable for phone, tv and internet. Three essential household items, that quite frankly if I had to live without I think I would actually survive. One day when we were doing some work to the house, prior to moving in, a salesman rang the bell. Let me tell you, it was friggin HOT out that day! If I were a salesman, I might have taken the day off, or tried to sell inside a mall where it's air conditioned. The guy was working hard! He said that he was canvasing the neighborhood and ringing the bells of homes of people that currently were not Comcast customers. He asked if we could spare a few minutes of our time. "Sure!" we answered. It was something we had to do anyway and it would save us several hours of being on hold or listening to a customer service representative on the phone. Mr. Baxter ended up giving us a great deal. No deposit required, free movie channels, 1 free DVR, no contract, a bunch of crap I didn't need for free, and more. The price was very reasonable but not so unreasonable that it would be a scam. He gave us a phone number too. Perfect! I had to enroll my children in school and I could give them my phone number! We explained that we were not actually going to move into the home until August, so we set up an August installation date (it was beginning of July or end of June, I can't remember.) He obliged. Perfect. He left, leaving his business card with his cell phone number. Hooray! No more customer service. I would be harassing, if need be, Mr. Baxter from now on. We set the time for afternoon installation, and then we got an invitation for a surprise party. We decided to switch it to a morning appointment.
Well, a couple of weeks later I get a call from "Fassir" at Comcast Cable. He wanted to know why we canceled our installation and if there was anything he could do to win us back. I was confused, thinking that maybe darling husband already called to switch the time, and I replied "Oh no. We don't want to cancel, just move up the installation time." The guy then ignores my comment and goes on to give me a list of channels and internet speed times and a bunch of nonsense for a low price of xxx. I was very confused as to why he was doing this when I already signed up for my service and channels. I said to him, "I'm at work, I will need to call you back." Which was the truth, I did not have the time to deal with bullshit at that moment. I got his number and actually did bring it home with me to call him back. Before I could even call him back, around dinner time my cell rings. It's Joe Shmoe from Comcast and apparently Fassir told him to call me. Oh boy. Let the games begin. I went on to explain that no, my service was not canceled and I just want to move the appointment from the afternoon to the morning. That's all. Then HE goes on with "the great deal he can give me." I told him that Mr. Baxter gave me price of $89.00 a month and that included (I listed the services.) Mr. Shmoe answers that he can give me the same crap plus throw in Showtime for $79.00 a month. Then a light bulb went off...Hey! He's trying to steal the business from Mr. Baxter! WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. Mr. Baxter is the one that walked around the neighborhood. Mr. Baxter is the one who took the initiative to make the sale. Don't steal his commission, you bastard. I put my husband on the phone who scolds him, calls him a name and hangs up. Keep in mind, my husband is a salesman. And even if he wasn't, it's just not the right thing to do to steal someone else's sale. It's unethical and even worse, just mean and obnoxious. Everyone deserves the opportunity to make money, especially the ones that go out and make an effort to get the sale.
I immediately go to call Mr. Baxter but of course, I can't find his business card. I Google him. I find him on LinkedIn. I send him a message to contact me. I want to tell him what his colleagues are up to. He does not respond. Oh well, I tried.
So, as moving day approached, I call Comcast to confirm my appointment and make sure the time was moved to the morning. The first battle was actually finding a phone number! Damn, did I throw out Mr. Baxter's card? I could really use it about now. There is a Comcast in the same town, one of those walk in customer service places. This place has bulletproof glass between the representative and the customer. The reps are properly protected. Now I know why. After the conversation and frustration I had, I really wanted to go there just to choke somebody. Well, when I checked information, there was no number for this location. After an exhausting search, I finally found a number and got through.
I explain that I want to confirm my installation and the woman on the other end tells me that it has been cancelled. WHAT???? Those jerk heads!! Not only that, but the phone number that was assigned to me is no longer available. Crap! I already gave it out to school officials and other VIP's. So even if I go forth with Cablevision again, I would have a different number. I go through the whole story about dumb and dumber calling me to change my service and after the rep is done pretending to listen to me, she starts giving me her spiel of what offer she can give me. OH MY GOD, I feel the aneurysm growing in my head. All these products, internet speed, crap I don't care about all over again. All for the wonderful price of DOUBLE WHAT MR. BAXTER GAVE ME PLUS A $200 DEPOSIT! What the fuck? I ask her, why in the world would I sign up for that service when it's way more money? She explains that the telemarketers get much better deals than the in-house reps. So I said forget it, that I would just wait for another telemarketer to contact me. Then she sings another song and decides she can waive the deposit and throw in other useless movie channels included in the same price. Great, so more stations to thumb through and bypass during my channel surfing. Fortunately, I was really at work and my phone was ringing. I explained I had to go and she said she would call me back. Of course I ignored her calls.
I then decided that Comcast is in the business of Bait and Switch. Remember that from Marketing 101? I do! They lure you in with an advertisement of one price, and then when you inquire, that product or price is no longer available..but they DO have this product at a higher price. So even if I pay more per month signing up with another provider, it's the principal of the matter. NO THANK YOU COMCRAP, I mean Comcast. I'll go with Verizon.
Comcast, go screw yourself. If I were Amish and I was trying to convert, my selling point would be "hey, no electricity. You never have to deal with cable companies again...and you get an automatic entry into heaven." Sounds win win to me.
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